The whole thing in marriage is the relationship and yielding. Marriage is not a love affair. A love affair has to do with immediate personal satisfaction. Marriage is an ordeal; it means yielding, time and again. That's why it is a sacrament: you give up your personal simplicity to participate. And you are not giving to the other person; you are giving to the relationship. Because you are not giving to the other person, it is not impoverishing - it is life building, life fostering, enriching. ... The beautiful thing is the growing: each helping the other to flower. We often want to freeze the other person, but you can't have that and love too.