Stop being so defensive. What are your hot buttons? What makes you coil up and tighten, your ears to stop hearing and your heart to close up? Every one is human, and everyone has something(s) that makes them defensive. Unfortunately, this defensive reaction is counterproductive to healthy growth and strong relationships. There is an alternative - its called acceptance. When you are accepting, you receive life openly and receptively. In this calm state of mind you can examine what is being said objectively, and either learn from it or let it go.