One way of softening negative emotions is to use modifiers - for example, by saying, "I'm just a bit peeved," or "I'm feeling a tad out of sorts." Another is to make a joke out of disempowering feelings before they ever reach the point of our being upset - if a golf shot doesn't go the right way, say, "That shot just underwhelms me. " Tiny shifts like these change the emotional direction and therefore the quality of our lives.