Flight attendant's voice is heard on the pre-flight safety video, as oxygen masks are shown dropping from overhead compartments: "For those of you who are traveling with small children, be sure to put your oxygen mask on first before assisting your child." The message is clear: if you aren't alive, you cannot keep your child alive; if a parent's needs are not being met, s/he has no resources to offer the child. But to be alive requires that we pay attention to ourselves in a new way.